Mr. Right-For-Now

I gotta get a job. If that black man’s family came looking for his money, I’d have to give it back. Meanwhile, I gotta support me and Jesse. And I need regular sex. I can’t think straight and plan my life when I’m distracted by wanting it all the time.

My doctor wants to put me on some anti-stress pill but I don’t want to. He said maybe I shouldn’t do them kegel exercises no more, ‘cause doing them makes me horny. But I was in town once and I was using the girls joint. There was this woman janitor cleaning the toilets. I don’t know how we got on the subject, but she said, women gotta do kegel exercises. They keep your uterus in place. Everyone says different things. You just don’t know who to believe.

I was walking around the park, thinking and trying to plan my life but not being very good at it when Jonathan Bailey started walking beside me.

“Hi Mindy,” he said, “How’ve you been?”

Jonathan lives in town. His mother used to live with him there and comes to the park on weekends. Now she’s at the park full time and he comes to visit her most weekends, for the home cooked meals, he says. His most prized possession is his 1948 Harley Panhead with a sidecar. I seen him cleaning it at the park. He’s got good hair and looks pretty good in his undershirt posing on that bike.

He’s sort of my hero because he gave me tons of good stuff when my trailer burned up, even a small TV that I could plug into the electrical post. You only get one channel in the park, but it’s better than nothing. And when Jessie got arrested, he gave me a gnome, the kind you put in your gardens. The gnome looks cool sitting beside my tent, sort of guarding my stuff. I don't even have to take him in when it rainis.

“I heard about Mitch,” he said, “I’ve always liked him. I’m so so sorry, darling.” And he pecked me on the cheek.

“Ah gee, thanks Jon. That’s nice of you to say that,” I said. Who knew a biker guy like him could be so sensitive.

We were just walking and chatting when Dean came storming toward us, going, “Jesus, Jesus Christ. Ah, so fucking messy.”

“What’s messy, Dean?” I said.

“The Logans. Jesus.” He rushed down the road to the Logans’ site.

“Oh, I heard about them!” said Jon.

“What about them?” I said. “What’s happened?”

“Their trailer got blown up last night.”

“What? Who did it?”

“His wife.”

“What? Carol? Why would she do that?”

“Carol is not his wife. She’s his sister.”

“Get out! No shit? He’s been fucking his sister?”

“Yup. His wife found out about them setting up house in the park. She came to the park, drove by their site and threw a stick of dynamite at their trailer.”

“God, some women are so possessive of their husbands. Were they hurt?”

“Ah-uhn. They weren’t there.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Well, after she blew up their trailer, she got out of the car and started crying and screaming and shouting at the trailer. Everyone heard and asked questions. She freely told them.”

By this time, we too got to the Logans’ site. The trailer was burnt and broken alright. But it didn’t look too bad. You could probably still live in it. Dean was talking to some guys. So we just walked on by.

“So Mindy,” said Jon. “Earlier, Fred and I were talking and we really want to have a night on the town. With you going through some pretty rough times, I was thinking you’d like to join us, to have some fun for a change.” He was all excited, waving his fingers about. “My treat, honey. Dinner and dancing with Fred and Sam, and of course, me.” Jon patted his chest with his fingers.

Am I hearing right? Jon’s asking me out? There are rumours in the park he’s not quite straight. But I’ve drank beer with him plenty of times and I never noticed nothing. And now his asking me out proves he’s straight.

“Jon, I’d like that very much,” I said.

“Alright, I’ll come by at 6:00 to get you tomorrow, darling.” He flicked a kiss at me with his fingers and waved good bye. That Jon, he’s always honeying and darlinging everyone.

But did that make me feel good or what? Jon is just the coolest. When he comes to the park, he’s got that Shannon bunch oogling and ogling at him and flirting and laughing with him all the time. But he’s never asked any of them out. He’s come over a few times and brought cake that his mom made. He’s always thanking me for helping his mom with stuff, like pick up the garbage on her site or carry water from the pump for her.

The only thing about him is sometimes I see him in his white undershirt in front of his mother’s trailer slugging back beer. And he’s got opera, for frig sake, opera, blasting on the radio. But what the hey, maybe I’ll get lucky with him anyway. I’ve never done a friend before. But it’s not like he was all that up close and personal a friend, which I wouldn’t mind getting with him now.

Yeah, it’s time I consider having a real relationship with a man. Maybe he could be my practice relationship, on account of he could be one of them funny boys.