Brambleberries

The hospital treated me and Sam for bleach burns. Except my hair was still green, and now dry and burnt. Parts of it was red. I never had red hair before. I guess it was the brown dye already in it that reacted with the bleach.

The Emergency nurse asked a bunch of questions about my health. Would you believe one of the questions was, "Are you pregnant?" How did she know? Was I showing already? I had to say yes.

She went, “Really?” Then another nurse took like ten tubes of blood from me. After, the first nurse came back and said, "Are you sure you are pregnant?”

I said, “Well yeah. If you don’t want to believe me, why’d you ask?”

She wanted to know all kinds of stuff about my periods too. Later, she got a doctor to examine me. He prodded and poked me in every which way. Only, I didn’t enjoy it and I wasn’t allowed to touch him back. Finally, he announced that I wasn't pregnant. I never was. I had no sign of having miscarried or anything. Can you believe that? So what was with that test I did?

"Goes to show," said Sam, "you can't trust those drug store kits."

But it was such a great relief, finding out I'm not pregnant. Me and Sam bought some shirts at the hospital gift shop to wear. Then we went into town to see if Mitch’s money came in. It still hadn’t. Bummer. But we saw some of Choojah’s apple pies at the Super J. He’s now putting blackberries in his pies as well. So we bought one with the blackberries for Kieran and Leanne as a present for having the baby. It was all we could afford. Sam didn’t have any more money on her. When we got back to the hospital, it was almost noon. Liz had a boy. She and the baby were asleep. They looked real peaceful sleeping together.

Sam and me drove back to the park to tell Kieran and to give him the pie. He really sucks at social skills, that man. I gave him the pie said to him,

“Congratulations Kieran, you have a son.”

He said, “Mindy, what’s that smell on you?”

I said, “Kieran, I just told you you got a son. You want to know what I smell like? Are you coming on to me?” Really, I went like that at him just to see him shit in his pants.

“No, no, Mindy,” he said, “I just wondered, because the smell is so strong.”

I left him. My feelings were hurt. Really, I gave him a present and all. I know I wasn’t looking my best, after the night I had. Because of his kid too. Partly anyway. And I didn’t appreciate everyone in the park gawking at me, saying, What happened to you? Why do you smell like that? All week, they were like that. Like I wanted to be that way. You don’t see me going up to that retard Denis and saying, God, why’re you crippled? Or gawk at fat Susan and her kids and say, Geez, why’s your whole family so ugly and fat?

I needed to get my hair fixed but I had no money for the salon in town. So Daisy came over and cut it for me. She had to cut it real short. I now had short, spiky, mostly green hair with bits of red in it. I felt totally butch. Every time I went into town, you get to see the dykes come out. They were the ones staring at me, giving me the look like they want to get to know me better. I know that look, I gave them plenty of times. But to guys. I’m not into chicks no matter what I look like or how horny I feel.

The day after my haircut, I visited Jesse. He was doing okay. They finally found Ogden’s dad and he was coming in. But oh my god, did Jesse ever have a bird. He said, “Mom, you look retarded. Can’t you just act like a mom once in a while?”

What was that supposed to mean? Lucky for him, Ogden said he didn’t think I looked retarded at all. He liked the way I look. He said I reminded him of a Marilyn Monroe with short hair, like a sexy misfit. Then he did something pretty sexy himself. I was standing with my back against the wall, just kind of leaning back, holding out the bowl of raspberries I brought for Jesse. Ogden came up to me, put his right hand on the wall near my head, leaned in towards me, and looked me deep in my eyes. So I picked up a raspberry and put it in his mouth. He held my finger with his lips till he swallowed the raspberry, then walked away. Whew.

When I got back to the park, I saw a new trailer drive in. Newcomers to the park. That evening, me and Daisy walked around the park. I saw the trailer at one of the newer sites. A young couple was setting up. They had a tarp up already. They brought stoves and tables and chairs and lamps. They look like they were going to stay put for a while. We stopped to welcome them.

Turns out they’ve been coming to the park for two years. I don’t remember them at all. I’ve never seen them. But Daisy said they did look kind of familiar. They’ve been coming for weekends here and there. But this time, they’re setting up house year round. They still work in the city during the week. But they wanted to be at the park every weekend.

Nice couple. Their names were Robert and Carol Logan. Both tall with wavy, reddish brown hair, good looking, probably in their thirties. God, they almost look like brother and sister. He’s a biologist and teaches at the university in the city. She works for some kind of environmental conservancy agency. Carol said,

"Bobbie loves that the park is so close to all kinds of wonderful outdoor activities. Don't you, Bobbie?"

And Bobbie said, "Yes, it’s almost like living in the wild here. You can commune with nature even in this park."

Tell me about it. Try living in a fucking tent forever and ever. I asked if they had kids, but they got all embarrassed and stammered, no, no, no.

On the way back from our walk, we passed their site again. Robert and Carol were no longer outside. God, you’d think we lived in an X-rated park or something. They were at it inside their trailer. Really at it. The trailer was sitting there shaking all by itself, so much you think it was possessed. But we knew it was the wild sex going on inside with the two of them. You can hear the moaning, banging into things and trying to muffle their screams.

So me and Daisy tried to walk pass their trailer discreetly. But little Edie and Simmie came running up chasing their dog, Bob. The dog ran around the trailer and the kids ran around after him calling, Bob, Bob, stop it, stop it. Suddenly, the trailer stopped moving and all went quiet inside. The kids, they looked at the trailer, noticed the silence and shrieked, “Aaaah…” They ran away laughing and screeching, now with Bob barking and chasing after them.

Me and Daisy walked away fast too. It was pretty funny.

It’s not good for me to know when other people are having sex. Makes me feel so left out. And it’s been so stressful lately I need me some man love. I know I look freaky, but I need to get fucked. Tonight. And I don’t know why I was thinking it, but I kept thinking about Ogden.