In The Moonlight

Sam gasped when she saw the blue window on the stick too. She snatched up everything and shoved them in the bag.

"You girls okay there?" hollered Fred.

"Fine, fine," said Sam. "Just picking up things for slippery fingers here." She handed the bag back to me and squeezed my hand. She said, "I'm just going to walk Mindy home. Nice to see ya, Dean. See ya later, Fred."

She hustled me off towards my site. We kept squealing, Oh my god, Oh my god, all the way home.

"The test must be wrong," I said. "I didn't do it properly."

"Did you pee on the stick?" said Sam.

"Yeah, but I stopped in the middle of it."

"But you got pee on the stick?"

"Yeah, but I didn't finish peeing."

"Well that doesn't matter. The stick just needs to be wet with your pee. It doesn't need a lot. My god, Mindy, what if you really are pregnant?"

"Shut up. The test is wrong. 'Cause if it's not, then I'm fucked."

"Like that didn't happen already."

"That's mean."

"Sorry. Do the test again in the morning. Just to make sure. Want me to be here when you do it?"

"Help me pee?"

"Urrr...I could. But I was thinking help you do the test properly and just be here to look at the stick with you."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

We sat around my tent and started drinking beer, eating cheesies and smoking. It was a warm night. We sat in lawn chairs in front of my tent and put our feet up on the picnic bench. It felt good to be off my feet. When it got dark, I turned on the lanterns. The moon came up too. I was real glad Sam was with me. The full moon makes me lonely. But Sam has this thing these days about learning to be a witch so she likes the full moon. It always feels like a party when Sam's around, even though it's just the two of us.

Sam is my best friend because she's always helping me and looking out for me. She practically helped me raise Jesse since we moved into the park. She's got a good head on her shoulders. Tonight, Sam was all jittery. She said,

"Fred is such a good man. He's decent and so brave."

"Yeah, he is. Why're you saying that about him, Sam?" I asked.

"I'm feeling jumbled. About life, about Fred."

"Is he okay? Is he still in remission."

"That's just it. He was. But this week, his PSA went up."

"Oh no. How high?"

"It was at 8. His doctor wants him to do another test in two weeks to see what change there is."

"God, I'm so sorry. No wonder you're so worried." I leaned over and gave her a hug.

"That, and Herb," said Sam.

"Herb? Fred's..."

"Twin. Look, don't think me a cheap jerk, okay? You know Herb was incredible support to me throughout Fred's illness. He comes by often still to see me. We have a special understanding."

"You guys fucking?"

"Yes."

Good old Sam. She doesn't mince words. "Who's feeling bad about that?" I said.

"I am, because I feel so guilty. Herb does. He feels guilty too. And Fred would, if he knew."

"When did you start, you and Herb?"

"Last week."

"But they're twins."

"So?"

"So it's like you're with the same man. What're you feeling bad about?"

"If only it's that simple." Sam was obviously feeling stressed about this Fred and Herb thing. She took out a joint, so we smoked it.

"You guys doing it everyday?" I asked. I was a little jealous, because I wasn't getting any since Mick and I broke up. Oh, I eye men all the time, but it takes work to get a man interested. You don't want any old bugger begging to drop his pants for you. See, that was another bad sign - it was too easy with Mick. And besides, without my trailer, I have no privacy. And I'm expecting Mitch home soon so I don't want to complicate things. Still, I miss the sex.

"No, we only did it the once. I tell ya, they may be twins, but they're very different men," said Sam.

"Oh for god sake, Sam. You done it once? That's nothing to feel guilty about. It's not like you did it a hundred times. Once is like you bumped into each other in the hallway said hello."

"But we may do it a second time, and a third, and a fourth. At some point, I'm cheating on Fred."

"I see. You're planning to cheat on Fred because you want a relationship with Herb."

"What?"

"You're talking like you want to swap Fred for Herb. You plan to feel bad about it. You know, sex is just sex. You can have sex with someone ten times and you're still not in a relationship. It's not what you do with your body that counts, it's what you do with your heart. I've never cheated on Mitch with my heart. But I have needs and Mitch is not here. Mitch might get upset if he knew I was getting my needs met without him, so out of respect for his feelings, I don't talk about my needs to him. You and Herb - unless you plan to ditch Fred, don't worry about it."

Sam was gazing up at the moon. She said, "The full moon is witness to everything we're saying, you know. But you're right. I don't plan to get rid of Fred so nothing to worry about. Right now, we make sure his prostate is taken care of. Any way, the moon goddess watches over us. Things will turn out fine. But you know, Mindy, I don't know half the people you sleep with."

"I barely know them myself."

Sam and I burst out laughing at that one and clanked our beer bottles.

"Speaking of knowing, you know how're we gonna raise money for Jesse?" said Sam. "We're gonna be matchmakers."

"Like a dating service?"

"Something like that. In old times, there were matchmakers going around introducing people to each other. If they get married, the matchmaker gets a chunk of money. We can do that. And we will provide personal services too. We will specialize in making the woman look beautiful so she can really impress the guy. We organize three dates for them. If they get married, they pay us a finder's fee."

Sam pulled out a second joint. I like getting high with Sam. She gets really inspirational ideas and makes things work. I think she and Fred got married when they were high, and they made their marriage work.

"How much is finder's fee?"

"We'll charge at least $5,000 per find, plus expenses."

"That's better than bake sales and car washes."

"You bet. We know lots of people - in the park, in town, out of town. All's we got to do is make sure we can do make up, dye hair, cut hair, go shopping with the woman, turn her into a fantasy woman."

"You know how to do that?"

"Oh baby, how hard can that be? You read fashion and make up magazines, don't you? You just follow what they do. Look how I turn out all the time. I just do what those magazines say to do..."

It's true. Sam looks amazing all the time. You wouldn't know she's not a natural platinum blond. I love when she wears that leopard halter top with her tight jeans and cowboy boots. She doesn't look 54 at all. No way. Once, she got all dressed up to go to a dance. She was striking. Imagine a hot pink strapless gown, split up the thigh, with fishnet stockings and open toe gold heels. Me, I'm a little on the plump side. But Sam put me in a bustiere once, and man, my tits were spilling over my tube top. You should've seen everyone gawking in town. I think that was the night I met this great guy in the pub and we had the best fuck ever in his car.

"...can get all the supplies from the beauty depot at the Tattle Creek mall anyway. But bleach is bleach," Sam was saying.

"Sam, I think you're onto something," I said. "But you go to a salon to get fixed up."

"Exactly," said Sam. Oh, she's excited now. "I've been so many times I know exactly what to do."

That's true. That practically makes Sam an expert. And I do read fashion magazines all the time so I know what looks to go after. I was excited now too. "Look Sam, we just practise on each other a few times. I bet we can make anyone look beautiful," I said.

"That's what I'm talking about," said Sam. "Practice makes perfect." She looked at me, "Let's do it then. Now."

"Okay."

"You got bleach?"

"Yeah, why?"

"To bleach your hair!"

Well, why not. I'm no pansy waiting to wilt.

I took the small jug of Javex from under the picnic bench and gave it to Sam. She found my dish basin and poured the jug of bleach in.

"Alright. To the moon goddess, may she bless everything we do in her bright light tonight," said Sam. She raised her beer.

"Yeah, to her, and the light," I said, clanking her beer bottle with mine. Then we had a long drink.

"Water, we need water," said Sam. "You can't use straight bleach."

We took the basin of bleach to the tap at the vault toilet and added water to it. Then we brought the filled basin back to my site and put it on the picnic table. We didn't lose too much water on the way. Sam lit another joint. Where were all these joints coming from?

"To our project!" toasted Sam. She took a deep toke and passed the joint to me. Then she took a deeper swig of beer to wash it down.

"To our project!" I echoed. Yes, we will be stunning. We will be rich. Yes, lots of people will be having lots of sex. Yes, I will have sex. Yes, to life! I too drank to our success.

"Okay, dunk you head in here," Sam pointed to the basin.

I checked to make sure I had a bra on, then took my shirt off. "I don't want to wet my shirt," I said, throwing the shirt on the grass.

"Good idea," said Sam. She pulled her sweat shirt off too. "Use this to mop up any spills." She put her sweat shirt on the table. See, Sam's always so stylish. She had a red lacy bra on. Me, I stick to basic black.

"Sam, I got towels. Hanging up there." I said, pointing to the clothes line.

"Okay. But my shirt's wet. I want it off anyway," said Sam.

I bent over forward into the basin of water. Sam gathered my hair and dunked my scalp in. Oooh, the water was frigging cold. I was having a brain freeze. Sam swirled my hair around making sure all the strands were soaked in the bleach water.

"Just keep your head in there for about 30 minutes," she said.

"Thirty minutes?" I lift my head. The water ran down my face and body. Ccccold.

"Stop it. Put your head back in," ordered Sam. So I did.

She swished my hair around soaking up my whole head. After a few minutes, I was getting a headache being bent over like that. My back hurt too 'cause my boobs were getting so heavy. It's not natural to be in that position without a man behind you. And the water was getting up my nose. It stank of bleach.

"Sam, I gotta get up. I can't hold this position much longer," I said.

"Okay, let me wrap you up." So Sam took her sweat shirt and wrapped it around my hair turban style. That was better. "That's like putting your hair in an oven to cook in the bleach."

Thank god I could stand up. I walked around moaning and groaning with a towel drying my body and stretching out my back and arms. Really, my back and head hurt. I threw a towel at Sam so she could wipe herself dry too. She was sitting in the lawn chair drying herself, but she was doing it in such slow motion. That was cool.

And at that moment, my neighbour Kieran, at the next site, he came out of his trailer. Sam and I waved at him. He came over, trying not to look at us. He said,

"I think Liz is in labour."

Holy cow! We had to get her to the hospital. You wouldn't believe how suddenly Sam could move so fast. It was like someone pushed a button and put Sam on fast forward.

"I'll get my car," she shouted, running towards her site.

I towelled off my head and shook my hair out.

"You smell funny," said Kieran, looking down at the ground.

"We gotta get Liz to the hospital," I said. Kieran and I went into their trailer to get Liz.

"God, Mindy, what's that smell on you?" said Liz.

"I was doing my hair," I said. We helped Liz out the trailer just as Sam came driving into their site. We all got in and drove off. Me and Sam in the front seat, with Kieran and Liz in the back.

At the the gate, Liz said, "Who's looking after Leanne?"

Holy shit. We forgot about her. Kieran said to the window,

"I'll stay to look after my daughter. I'd be much obliged if you ladies help my wife get to the hospital to give birth."

He pecked Liz on the cheek and skidaddled out of the car right. Well, we were on a mission. So Sam drove straight to the hospital.

Sam stopped the car in front of Emergency and shouted, "We need a doctor and a wheelchair."

A nurse came out and said, "Which one of you is the patient?"

"She is," I screamed, pointing into the car. "She's in labour."

The nurse looked into the car and gestured at someone inside. An orderly came out with a stretcher. They helped Liz get on and the nurse wheeled her away. The orderly said to us,

"Park then come back in. I need to get patient information from you and I can give you some hospital gowns."

Sam and I looked at each other. We were still in our bras. Only they had white streaks and blotches in them. Sam's hands were all red. My body and face felt all dry, itchy and burning. I needed to get washed or something.

When we got into the hospital, the orderly gave us two gowns. He said,

"Maybe you'd like to use the ladies' room to freshen up first?"

We nodded and went to where he was pointing. Inside the washroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. My face and chest were all red. My hair was all kinky and mostly green.

The clock in the washroom chimed 3 a.m.